But talk:mano e mano with my brain-Part 1

Plummeting grades,people calling me a moron(usually they do it behind my back but now they are openly calling me a moron,what nerve!),scoring one goal in a whole bloody season of playing football at JU(Do not,i repeat DO NOT listen to people who are going around telling every one else that the one goal was an own goal!)My life was heading exactly where my parents always knew it would go.I had to do something drastic.I did what i presume most people always do in desperate times as this.Nope,i didn't attempt suicide,infact i think only loser's commit suicide.* Note-(drumrolls in the background begin...)People a social awareness message was just passed in this blog.Since the probability of that happening again is two-to-the-power-of-infinity-minus-one to one against,you might as well break open that bubbly you had been saving for the right moment to celebrate.* So instead of attempting suicide i decided to have a chat with my long forgotten friend-Brain!Here's how the tete-tete went:
Me(that is all my body parts sans my brain):Hulo brain,long time no see?
Brain:Blimey didn't expect to see you anytime soon.
Me:Well,guess what buster,i am here and i need some answers now.(i've always wanted to say that,but i've always pictured myself holding a double-barrelled gun*sigh*)
Brain:Is this about my falling asleep during that quiz thingy?
Me:that and a lot more.You've got a lot of expaining to do:the plummeting grades,the incessant chants of "Moron,Moron" or the less creative"Jeez,what a moron!"
Brain:But they always did that,didn't they?
Me:What 'bout my appaling soccer performances and you almost got me killed this morning.
Brain:Can't a brain have a little rest sometime!
Me:Bloody hell,brains don't rest,brains don't complain,brains are supposed to work all the bloody time,don't you get it.I don't see any other brains resting or complaining around here.
Brain: Whatdya know of brains you ain't no brainiac!
Me:That's it,you are out of here,you are fired! *i really can pull off my Trump imitation pretty well.*
Brain:You can't fire me,with out me you'd be as brainless as Dubya!
Me:What's the use of a ruddy brain if i have to depend on a certain friend's jhola(fellow Judeans of UG II the pun is very much intended) to pass exams!And..and what kind of a brain get's it's owner labelled a moron,huh?
Brain :Come on i did my best in the exams.
Me:For Gods sake,you thought Measure for Measure was a tailoring handbook.And you made me write that Shakespeare wrote As You Like It to prove that lesbians existed in the 17th century as well
Brain:Ah.....that was fun,wasn't it?
Me:No wonder people are calling me a moron ever since. *sniffle sniffle*
Brain:But my quick thinking and great vision helped you execute those great cross-field passes,in the football ground,remember?
Me:Great vision!!!! It isn't exactly difficult to pick out people who wear pink hot pants(with Spank Me imprinted on the back)or people who wear formals(without any Spank Me or somesuch thing printed on the butt region)on the football field and frantically wave their limbs around,shouting "ball ta samne bara na shala!!"
Brain:But i know a lot of things that other brains don't.
Me:Give me one good reason why you should remember the number of times Homer Simpson belched in episode 33 of season 7 of The Simpsons!You were bloody useless in the quiz!
Brain:Come on the QM was He-who-must- not-be-named-on-this-blog-coz-too-many-people-have-already-abused-him-in-their-respective blogs,every participants brain either goes off to sleep or thinks of various ways of killing the said QM while simultaneously trying to count backwards from 1001.
Me:Anyway after you almost got me killed and sent me to hell(after last thursday's incident and the obvious signs that i am getting ever since like walking into cofee shops where people are requesting me to pay 5 bucks so that they can listen to Highway to Hell,which they say is their favourite song*beware of thursdays and cofee shops*,i am sure i am going to hell)i can't live with you anymore.Why did you switch yourself off...i was trying to cross the road for Gossakes!
Brain:I didn't switch off,i only made you ogle at the PYT across the road.Jeez,you are 18,single and moronic i was only trying to help you,man!
Me:Thankfully the approching bus's driver wasn't ogling at anyone.* wait a minute,the driver had his eyes on the road ahead and i was the only object on that road ahead,so could he have been ogling at me? Nooooooooooooh *
Brain:Why would good old,Tapan da ogle at anyone,the man's impotent.
Me:*huge sigh of relief*
Me:See this is where you surprise me-you thought that Laertes was spelt 'Laortes' but you know the name of some obscure impotent bus driver!!Get a life brain
Brain:*Smirks,while puffing out his chest(if brains have chests that is.)*
Me:Anyway as i said,i don't need you anymore,i have got a replacement,you may leave.
Brain:FINE
My brain stormed out of my head,plopped to the ground and started to crawl over the dusty floor...it gave one last look at me,obvious feelings of hurt and anger was visible on his yuckky little face...