But talk:The rise of the butt or " mano e mano with my brain-Part 2"

...suddenly that yuckky mouth(i guess)of my brain opened and it started speaking.*the situation was very much like the hindi films where the hero despite being riddled by bullets delivers the one last emotional speech* It was a tad odd i guess speaking to my brain or rather being spoken to by my brain,lying on the ground.
Brain:Who may i ask is your replacement?Please don't tell me u've got the beta version of the new T100 model!(the T100 incidentally is a result of the two brainware giants Brainolux and Brainolia coming together in a new 5 year deal that has surely taken the Brainworld and humans by surprise.)
Me:I didn't get another brain,it cost's a lot to do that. *Rather surprisingly it costs even more than getting a boob job.So now you know why a struggling Pam A,went for option B rather than A!And man did she ever make a right decision or what?(Even the guys who need new brains nod along to this question,talk about a question being rhetorical!)* I am gonna use my butt as my new brain!(you knew it all along didn't you?Damned smart-ass readers *grumble grumble*)
Stunned silence
Stunned silence continues
Brain:What the @#$!%^&##^,your ass!Hahahahahaha
Me:Laugh all you want buster,but my ass is already showing it's true potential.It's thinking way better than you ever did,infact it has already learnt that As You Like It wasn't just about lesbos, it was about one happy camping trip/orgy where a whole lot of people found their true love/partners.* reminds you of all the low budget outdoor porn movies that you've secretly watched,doesn't it?Now you know who to thank.*
Beat that,my butt is special.
Brain:But...But...this can't be happening,butts can't think.
Me:Well mine can and maybe other butts can as well(??????)So you and your kind's days are numbered,i tell you mister. *Muhahahahahah-sinister comic book villain kind of laugh*
Brain:Nooooooooooooooooooh
My butt:*snigger snigger*
My ex brain took 2 1/2 minutes to crawl out of the room and disappeared to where ever fired brains belonging to ex morons go to. *speculations are rife amongst my friends brains that my ex-brain went to a bar where loser brains go to(they think the bar is called Oli-pub)and got dead drunk and later on hooked up with a loser Bollywood actress's brain(speculations about who the actress might be is the latest gossip topic among all brains of Kolkata-so that explains all the sudden headaches you've been having!And you always blamed it on the innocent mosquitoes.Tut tut)*

So people i am pleased to announce that my stupid brain has left me and my butttocks are in full control of my thinking.(Note:My butt appears to be a very competant multi-tasker as it is continuing it's regular job,the one that all butts do!!)People who know me can henceforth expect to see my grades shooting up,mind boggling goals on the football field and a little less ogling on the roads.And do remember that sudden kicks to my buttocks and even butt-talks like "Go Kick Ass" can result in temporary amnesia for me,while frequent 'contacts' with the CCD couches will help me think better.

P.S. The fact that my butt is a brilliant thinker and the fact that it helps me to come up with stuff that brains can't is proved by this post,which i must say,my butt came up with and not my brains coz i don't have any,remember?

P.P.S This is just in folks-apparently i am not the only one with a 'brainy butt',the QM who-must-not-be-named-on-this-blog-coz-too-many-people-have-already-abused-him-in-their-respective-blogs but whose name when pronounced very fast might sound quite a bit like 'PORNO' and a certain part-time waiter at a Burger king outlet at Indiana,have also been reported to have displayed unusual thinking capabilities which can only be attributed to their butts! So i am in illustrious company. Butts rule!! Glory! Glory!

Note:Did you guys get the pun in the Title-But talks? Did you? Did you? *Capering around excitedly like a school kid who knows the answer to a 'Porno' question*